Proof: The Cullens Aren't As Smart As They Look
by DaWaffle
Summary: If you thought the Cullens were normal vampires, think again. Contains a series of one-shots all revolving the Cullens, Bella, and the good people of Forks. Watch them spread havoc to a local WalMart, freak out over chain emails, and much more!


**Ok, this is a series of one-shots between the Cullens, Bella, and anyone else in Forks.**

**Ok, enjoy! And dont forget to review and tell me what you think or suggest some ideas.**

Chapter 1 -- Telephone

Carlisle was sitting in his study. He sighed and took a glance at the open door.

Emmett just walked by.

"Emmett!" Carlisle called.

Emmett stopped and walked back to Carlisle's study, "What?"

"Emmet, tell the others that we will be planning an expedition in the Amazon forest to look for species unknown." Carlsile said.

Emmett raised his eyebrows but then shrugged, "Mkay."

Emmett walked over to the next room, "Yo, Alice. We're gonna eat foreign food."

Alice looked at him weird, "You mean…hunt foreign species?"

Emmett thought for a second, "That's not what Carlisle said…" To himself he thought, _I'm not really that sure what Carlisle said… _He shook his head_,_ "Just tell the others."

Alice gave him a perplexed look, "O..K.." She said slowly. "Edward!" She screamed, as she saw Edward walk down the hallway by her door. He stopped and Alice caught up to him, "Edward, we are going to a foreign restaurant, tell the others." She said.

Edward looked at her suspiciously, "Why would we go to a restaurant? We don't…eat."

Alice considered for a moment, "I dunno. That's what Emmet said that Carlisle said…just tell the others." She said, and vanished.

Edward shruged and walked back to his room. He sat next to Bella on the couch, "Hey, Bella, we're going to get you foreign food…or something like that…"

Bella gave him a weird look, "Why would I want foreign food?"

Edward sighed. "I don't know… that's what Carlisle who told Emmet who told Alice who told me said. Just tell the others." He said, and left to go back wherever he was going the first time.

Bella jsut shrugged and left for the living room, "Hey, Esme," She said, sitting down next to Esme, "what's this talk about foreign food? Carlisle told Emmet who told Alice who told Edward that told me something about somewhere foreign and a place that we're going to…?"

Esme's eyes brightened up, "There's talk? About foreign food? Like, that foreign TV channel I wanted that talks about other cultures and how people live!?"

Bella looked at her like she just spoke a different language, "…Sure"

Esme jumped up, "I'll go tell Rosalie!" She said, and vanished.

Rosalie was out in the garage when Esme appeared right in front of her, "Rose, Guess what!"

Rose saw the excited look on Esme's face and got excited herslef, "What?!"

Esme spoke quickly, "They got the channel!" She squealed, "Carlisle and Emmet told Alice and Edward for us and they got it!"

Rose dropped the tool she was holding, "No way! Who told you?"

"Bella." Esme answered.

Rose frowned, "How did Bella get mixed in with all of this?"

Esme shrugged, "Something about them telling her to tell us."

Rose nodded, "Ok, well great!" She closed her tool box, "I'll go thank Em."

Rosalie ran quickly to Emmett. "Oh my Carlisle! I looove you!" She jumped on his back.

Emmet smiled, "I know…hey," He frowned and put her down, "what did I do?"

Rose rolled her eyes, "The foreign TV channel? I thought you forgot all about it!"

Emmet froze, he pulled on his collar, "Oh…that…Yeah…I got…Alice…on that for you…thank…her…?"

Rose rolled her eyes. "Alriiiight." She said, and dissapeared to thank Alice.

"Alice you're awesome! The foreign TV channel? I'm sooo happy! Esme and I were−"

Alice interrupted her, "What are you talking about?"

Rose frowned, "…the channel you got me." She said slowly.

Alice's eyes widened, "You wanted _Chanel_? I got you Juicy Couture… I'm so sorry." She apologized, speaking quickly. "I'll be right back to go exchange that!" She ran to the front door.

"Wait! I wasn't talking about perfume!" She called back, but Alice didn't hear.

Alice bumped into Jasper right before she got to the door, "Jasper!" She sighed in relief, "You have to tell Esme that the perfume I got her was the wrong one. Tell her I _meant_ to get her the Chanel…but I got her Juicy instead. Ok? Thanks." She left through the door.

Jasper, totally confused, just nodded "Ok…"

"Esme!" Jasper called.

Esme appeared instantly before him, "Yes?"

Jasper sighed and tried to remember what Alice had told him, "Alice said she is sorry about…the confusion. And she got you juicy stuff instead of the channel you wanted….she already told Rose…"

Esme sighed, "I knew it was too good to be true…I should probably tell Bella…"

Jasper nodded and left.

Esme walked back to the living room, "Alice got me some juice channel instead of the foreign channel I wanted…ugh."

Bella bit her lip sympathetically, "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that…" She got up and stretched. Then she walked back up to Edward's room where she found her boyfriend lookign for something on the shelf.

"How could you do that?" Bella wondered.

"Do what?!" He frowned.

Bella rolled her eyes, "Tell me to tell Esme something that isn't true…now she's sad."

Edward looked at her confused.

Bella groaned, "What Alice told you wasn't true!"

"Oh" Edward nodded to himself.

Bella rolled her eyes, "Just tell Emmet that we're having juice instead….i think…"

Edward shrugged, "ok."

He walked over to Emmett, "Hey, Em, how could you tell us this? We aren't having anything foreign! Just juice! Who told you this? Jeez..." Hh said, and walked away.

Emmett frowned, "Juice?" He muttered to himslef, and went back over to Carlisle's study. "Hey Carlisle, there was a confusion…we're not having foreign food…we're having juice!"

Carlisle looked at him appalled, "…what the…? Who said anything about foreign food in the first place?"

Emmet looked at him weird, "You…did…"

Carlisle groaned and rolled his eyes, "…Ok! FAMILY MEETING EVERYONE!"

**Ok, that was it! So...yeah.**

**Tell me what you think!**


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